Simmering ‘incestuous’ cases are rocking many homes today. Many women in their second marriages are silently bemoaning and squaring up to this sexual inappropriateness ravaging their homes. These women are hurt, psychologically traumatised and emotionally tormented. They weep in silence, curse their partners while regretting having anything to do with such shameless and morally bankrupt men.
They choose to be discreet about this painful experience in order to maintain a semblance of a “settled” or “happy” homes to the society. This is the situation with many married but broken-hearted women today. Be it biological or step, dad is dad. Any man that is old enough to father his stepdaughter should behave and live like a true dad to her.
Full attributes and complements of a dad is amply expected from him. Men who serve as ‘aristos’ to young girls should limit their romantic misadventures to the circle of their cohorts. A good dad is expected to shower love, care, attention, support and protection to his children including his stepdaughter(s). He should always be there not just as a father-figure but in every sense of the word. He should scold, reprimand, encourage, pamper, give gifts with beautiful surprises and also snap hotly whenever she misbehaves.
There’s no denying the fact that some inordinately sexually exposed and wayward stepdaughters do deliberately tempt or taunt the infatuated urges of their stepdads. Such girls are already involved in: dating married men, having affairs with ‘aristos’ as students, provocative and indecent dressing, seductive body movements to communicate “I game if you don’t mind” all in bids to lure their supposed dads to bed. It is believed that girls that indulge in sharing same men with their moms are very likely to engage in incestuous relationship with their own biological dads if given the chance.
This sexual phenomenon is plaguing many homes in Nigeria but it is widely underreported for fear of stigma and possible smeared family image. However, in African countries like Kenya, Zambia and South Africa, they are daily occurrences. Mrs. Mercy Igoki, 48, a senior assistant registrar in a university had accused her daughter of “stealing” her husband. Mercy had adopted an adolescent orphaned girl in 2006 who is three years older than her first born.
The girl bonded well with her family, but Mercy’s problem started when she had to resign her job to recover from an accident that left her with multiple fractures. Being a university student, Mercy could be away from home sometimes up to three weeks or longer at a time because of her studies.
However, rumour in the neighbourhood about her adopted daughter sleeping with her husband became rife. “In anger, I confronted them and to my shock, my husband blamed me for the affair, saying I had brought the girl to him,” she said, concluding that she had since forgiven them. It is argued that many men involved in incest with their biological daughters do it as a ritual for wealth, fame or political power. Quite a number of highly placed personalities in the society are said to be deeply involved in this shameful act.
For example, a politician could no longer visit his village in the daytime because people had found out he was actually sleeping with his daughter. His herbalist, it was gathered, asked the politician to commit the incest as part of the rituals for his electoral victory. Others, who belong to secret cults were commanded to sleep with their daughters as rituals for spiritual powers or prolonged lifespan. I will treat this subject extensively some other time.
A real father must conquer amorous temptation towards his stepdaughter. Eating the “forbidden fruit” is tantamount to committing a sacrilegious and incestuous sin. If he carelessly gets ensnared in the ‘bitter’ sexual act, it simply confirms he’s not a good, trusted and disciplined dad.
It shows he doesn’t truly love his woman; and if he really does, then, he doesn’t care to hurt her even to the grave. Discovering such an irreverent act have made some women went berserk, suffer increased palpitation in the heart and even led to persistent high blood pressure condition. Some women, in reacting to the incident, could resort to violent attacks like acid bath, stabbing, etc. This untoward incident is capable of breaking homes.
Meanwhile, there are ways to stave off the ignominious temptation by any disciplined man; and these include: • Be open to your woman about your observations on the wayward traits of the girl. • Scold her openly for indecent behaviours or seductive gestures • Keep a safe distance by avoiding being alone with her in the house. Apart from falling into temptation, a criminally minded girl may want to set you up for a disgrace. • For those who can afford it, hidden cameras can be installed in the house against possible shenanigans when alone at home with a naughty stepdaughter.
• Sex-induced conversations with the girl should be avoided completely. • Fatherly counsel, scriptural ethos, cultural values and didactic real life experiences that will guide and mould her conducts should characterize his dealings and conversations with her. Send your responses/private issues to: firstname.lastname@example.org or +234-(0)8035304268 (SMS/WhatsApp)
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