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What marriage is not (Part 2)



What marriage is not (Part 2)

7. A RELATIONSHIP DRIVEN BY MONEY ALONE: Many believe that once there is enough money, marriage will automatically be successful. No one has been able to explain to me why divorce rate among billionaire couples is on the increase. It is because a relationship driven by money alone is not a marriage. Money is important to marriage but money-driven relationship is not safe. When the size of wallet becomes the ONLY REASON that a marital relationship exists, it is not marriage. If you are in a marriage in which when he or she gives you money and expensive gifts, you love and cherish him or her. But when money is no more as available as it used to be, your love disappears; My dear, your marriage is hanging on mammon which has no capacity to pass life test. It is the person’s wallet that you love and not the person. If all you want in a marriage is someone who has money, remember that money has wings and can fly away. There can be a sack from that plum job tomorrow. Business can shake or face challenges tomorrow depending on economy. When any of these happen, are you sure you can remain in the marriage? How about that person you call fiancée or fiancé today? Does the person have capacity to withstand such storm if it comes?

8. A JOKE: As a result of mass exposure to wrong information on marriage through the social media. Many have swallowed the lie that marriage is some pleasure game or some joke. Some professional actors and actresses for instance, have lost their marriages because they could not differentiate between acting to entertain people and living the actual marital life as prescribed by the originator of the idea called marriage. I must state here that actors are not necessarily the only ones guilty of perceiving marriage as some joke. People across different professions equally do. We only hear more about the marital experiences of actors because they are by design, always in the public space. Marriage is not a joke. It is a destiny matter. The person you marry determines how far you can go in life.

9. A LIE-DRIVEN PARTNERSHIP: Any relationship built on the foundation of lies is not a marriage. Don’t lie about who you are, to the person you intend to marry. Don’t lie about your past, your career, family and future. One problem with lies is that you will always need new lies to cover up the former ones you created. Deception is the order of the day in such relationship, and you are never sure of what to say or do to avoid being caught. After all said and done, some day, each of your lies will be discovered. This may end the relationship after trust has been killed because no relationship survives without trust, even though the person eventually started falling in love with you. If you are married and you have been lying to your spouse or you both have been lying to each other as a lifestyle, you don’t have a reliable marital relationship. Surrender your heart for Jesus Christ to take over and break the captivity of lying spirit.

10. PRE-MARITAL COHABITATION/SEX: Even if two people of the opposite sex reside in the same room for 100 years, and even produce children without undergoing any official marriage rites (traditional, registry or church wedding), they are not officially married. Besides, premarital sex never guarantees a successful marriage. The best it can do is to produce a wedding. Wedding is a one-day ceremony. Marriage is a lifetime affair.

11. COMPETITION: A couple is supposed to work towards a harmonized lifetime vision. The parties are partners in progress towards one dream. A husband and a wife are not supposed to be competitors. If you are hiding wealth-related information from your spouse, you are competing. If you are working against your spouse’s further education, office promotion or employment, you are not in marriage. Marriage is partnership and not competition.
12. A MOMENTARY ACTIVITY: Marriage is a lifetime journey. It is not a political appointment that you can resign from. It is not a company that you can liquidate. It is not a university course that you can dump or graduate from. It is a covenant. Even when threat to life is involved, the best you can do is a temporary separation. Time has capacity to heal wounds especially when prayers and good counsel are involved. The Bible does not approve divorce. Even if everyone in this world decides to approve divorce, God still does not approve it. Besides, there is a self deceit I see in the paper called Divorce Certificate. Relationship is a heart affair that no paper can control. So, the fact that I have a Divorce Certificate does not mean that I cannot see myself going back to my divorced spouse and even having sex with him or her and possibly, living with the person again. Paper has no capacity to control the heart. Can you see the limitation of the paper called Divorce Certificate in this matter?
Here is a warning for all singles. Do not get married to a wrong person, ignoring all signals that the person is the wrong person. Do not enter marriage, already seeing the prison that is ahead, only to get to the middle of the marriage, and complain or pretend you did not see the troubles coming.

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