Do you know there are still men around who feel threatened by a girl’s family names and or wealth? In this day and age? It’s strange, so archaic, don’t you think?
It could have been honourable if it is fed by a genuine need to be independent and not be called a fortune hunter or gigolo. I mean, if a guy truly loves a girl and would have loved her if she were a house maid, but in a case where it is the perks of her family’s wealth that attracted him in the first place, then why dig his heels in when offers of comfort come from such a girl’s parents arrive with the necessary strings attached.
Let’s look at it this way. Girl meets guy, finds out she’s one with a heavy surname and drives a Range Rover at age 20, but he’s not put off. They start a relationship. Two, three and even four years on and he is yet to make up his devious mind whether the girl is good enough wife material.
Yet he drives her car, accepts gifts from her, sleeps with her and enjoys being associated with a High Chief’s daughter. He flaunts her like a keenly contested and well-deserved trophy. Are you getting my drift? It’s not that guys run away from rich girls as such. It’s just that the guys, some of them, backslide when it comes to making a lifetime commitment to their rich girlfriends.
I know you guys will remind me that if you marry rich girls I’ll still be the first to call you names. But that’s not so. You know I won’t point an accusing finger where none should be pointed. Any relationship or marriage that is based on genuine love, trust and care is fine alright. Any poor guy can honourably marry a rich girl if he doesn’t see her purely as a meal ticket.
There’s nothing bad in seeing the intelligent, loving, beautiful and hard-working side of a rich girl and going out with her.
But it’s sad, quite a sorry state of affairs when only money, money and more money is the attraction to the woman he wants to marry. Just what she can offer him in cash. That kind of arrangement doesn’t always last. Neither party comes out of it laughing. The truth will eventually come out and the man will be seen for what he is. A fortune hunter.
So why am I on the case of the poor guy that refuses to marry a rich-girl? Why call him strange when he refuses to be bowed or bought over by the girl’s wealth? Because a poor guy who befriends and has an affair spanning two years with a rich girl only to dump her because he can’t cope with her father’s ‘overbearing attitude ‘ or her mother’ ‘snotty snob’ nature is as bad as a fortune-hunting husband.
It’s even more horrible where and when the poor rich girl is totally gone on the poor boy and he knows it and he goes on to milk it. It’s really quite callous to wait two years to tell one’s girlfriend that you’ve got nothing going for you two.
That the end of the road is doom after two romantic years is not a decision you were not aware of earlier. It’s just that such men are mean fortune hunters and insensitive. Really, if only they’ll put themselves in the girl’s position and see how it hurts to be strung along a relationship, to be told that all’s well when the man has no plans for you. I mean, it’s crude to use a girl to boost one’s ego.
It’s weak when a guy thinks that being seeing in the company of girls with fat bank accounts and or big surnames is what it takes to be big. He introduces her to all his friends. Never forgetting her surname if that’s what’s tripping him or where she works or what she does for a living if that’s what gives him the kicks. You can imagine it. I have heard it before. “Ol boy, meet my sweetheart, Ronke Millionaire”.
Or “This is the lady that makes living in Nigeria worth it. She’s a senior manager at Opportune Merchant Bank.” He goes on and on praising her, telling anybody within hearing distance how special the girl is to him and how he intends not to let her out of his sight.
Unless the girl has a third eye, how is she to know that she is just a rhythm of the moment, a polish for a psychologically incompetent lover’s ego? She’s his morale booster. He spends her money too, uses her connections to get a better job, a few contracts here and there and begins to drop big names everywhere he goes. He drives her car, even takes it to his village to pose for the local belles.
Meanwhile, he has no intention of marrying rich girl who has been supplying him all these good things of life. She is only good as a girlfriend, never a wife.
How I detest men who descend this low to accomplish their goals! A friend recently told me her experience in the hands of one of such men. She’s still very bitter. According to her, she’d met this young handsome man at one of their AGMs about two years ago.
“He had come to help one of his colleagues to pick up the bank’s press release for their newspaper’s financial desk. He is also a journalist.
We got talking and in no time at all, we found we had a lot of interests in common. An affair started. I thought my status as Manager in a bank would put him off but it didn’t, I fell more in love with him. I bought him gifts. He did too but not as often as I did. After about nine months, he became so frequent in my flat that he had more personal possessions there than in his own apartment.
I cooked his meals and even packed lunches for him before going to the office. He drove my car to his weekend assignments and everybody knew we were an item.
“He acted like a gentleman around the house and never seemed to pout like some men when I phone his office that I had to work late or travel at short notice. I heard honestly, that he gallivants with girls in my car. I boldly confronted him but he denied the story and gave me his assurances. I couldn’t be bothered.
Then, one day, I confronted him with a rumour I’d heard about a pregnant lady living in his apartment, and he didn’t deny it. He bluntly told me his parents wouldn’t hear of him marrying a car owner who earns more than he does; and that the other girl was brought from home by his mother.
When I asked why he didn’t tell me all along, he said he didn’t want to hurt me by leaving. Can you imagine the shock? I almost died. To have been taken for such a ride with my two eyes wide open? The bastard could have told me all this while but because of his free meal and transport….? Can you blame the lady for feeling like that?
You’d feel used too if you’d been so shabbily treated. Why won’t men do something nice and uncomplicated for once? •Rejoinders will be published.