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She’s a pro, not a dove



She’s a pro, not a dove

Men are not so smart even if they insist they are the best thing to happen to the human race since bread and butter. Let’s take another look at bachelors who think that having obvious risky fun is hip. Eligible bachelors, they are supposed to be, but they work their randy ways through the ‘rank and file’ of the womenfolk like a hot knife through butter.

Some of them have been through so many skirts that they have lost count. Yet they are not tired or ready to retire. These are men, who develop goose pimples each time their girlfriends bring up marriage. It doesn’t matter for how long this kind of man has dated a girl, he has all the reasons, at his finger tip, why marriage is an issue for tomorrow, not today.

It doesn’t matter how many hours the poor girl has spent rehearsing her pitch, he has ready-made answers to all her nice logic. Ask them about the current girls in their lives and the most honest answer you can get out of them is ‘fine’ followed, of course, by a long list of excuses why the girls are not wife-materials.

These are the overgrown sit-tight bachelors. They almost always find reasons why their girls are incompatible with them. All the incompatibility talk is rubbish, however.

A sit-tight bachelor has gone through so many skirts that he can’t think of being condemned to life with one woman. And so he keeps playing the field, breaking hearts and messing up lives.

He has gotten away with so much bad behaviour that he believes God must be giving him thumbs up. Running through women, jumping from bed to bed is so fraught with dangers that I wonder why men who think they are smart don’t see them. As a concerned citizen, I have decided to let you guys into some secrets, especially those of you who think you can get married any time, after all, there are women all over the place.

The recently released census figures with all the flaws therein, after all, said there are more men than women in Nigeria. But let us start with the kind of woman you can easily mistake for a dove.

She looks and acts like you are the lord and love of her life. She takes all the shit you want to dish out. She has a good job, a thriving career and does not stint when it comes to spoiling you a little. Of course, because you are such a ‘pro’ at breaking hearts, you think she’s a fool. The reality, however, is she thinks you don’t have the brain God gave a grasshopper. This kind of girl has learnt her lesson over time.

Her heart has been broken over and again but by now she is as hard as nails, though she does not look it. In fact, everything about her throws you off, everything about her says she’s butter or pepperless.

Our girl is a big-league pro. That beautiful ring on her finger is not just a fashion accessory.

That’s why she wears it day and night. Once she wags that finger playfully at you, you will do whatever she says. Or, have you ever wondered why she likes to put her head on your laps so often? I ‘ll tell you. There are some heavy incisions at the center of her head. Once your eyes get into contact with the spot, you become putty in her hands.

There is also the concoction for fever and pile that she offers you, which I assure you, could be a head-turner. All those girls who look like they can’t hurt a fly aren’t what they look. They all have Alhajis and babas who they run to when things get ‘tight’. I am telling you all these at the risk of exposing my own species but I believe it’s only fair.

Considering that I have been accused of bias by men. Most guys who have been lucky not to have been cut down to size by these hardtown girls think they are smart. They will soon exhaust their luck by which time it might be too late to cry.

It is better for a dog to learn its lesson before its ears are cut.

Throwing away the knife afterwards would amount to medicine after death. A man who tries to act smart with the butter-won’t-melt-in-my-mouth girls will bite his fingers.

He ‘ll as usual go into the relationship to do his habitual hit-andrun thing but he’ll become a husband in no time, for sure.

The only trouble may be this dream girl of his will turn out to be the nightmare of his life.

But what can he do? He’d be stuck. If you think that new girl in your life is gentle, you just might be playing with fire. By the time she’s through with you, you ‘ll find out she’s the boss and you are the peon.



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