You must have at one time or the other suspected your husband was having an affair. No big deal, most men do. The occasional fling to relieve their youth or assure themselves that the strands of grey hair on their temples have not affected them ‘downstairs’.
As long as they ‘always come back,’ what’s a roving eye between husband and wife?
Only the deal becomes big when the affair graduates from being an occasional fling.
When your husband goes a step further from the late nights, weekends outside the matrimonial, you can’t help but worry. When he stops telling you where he is going or where he’s coming from, you should worry.
So what do you do when you find out your husband is going steady with another woman? May be when he has gone as renting and furnishing an apartment for her. Do you burst an artery and end up a stroke patient? Would you scream, tear your hair and threaten to send hired killers after her and your shameless husband? Would you accept defeat and pack out? Is there really a cut-and-dried, acceptable way to react to the threat of the other woman?
All these questions chased one another round my brain when I heard how some women handled such situations.
Actually, the first instance is the one that really started this topic. The woman, let’s call her Mrs. X had found out that her husband, Mr. X has rented and furnished a mini-flat in Ishaga (in Ifako/Ijaiye local government) for his girlfriend, Miss B. That Monday, the randy husband had spent the night at his girlfriend’s place.
The following morning, still his bathrobe, the secret lovers received an august visitor – Mrs. X. She arrived in her Toyota Corolla car, surprisingly Mr. X and Miss B. No introductions were needed.
Mrs. X pounced on Miss B. dealing severe blows on the surprised lady. When the latter saw that Mrs. X was ready to send her to the great beyond, she fought back. At the end of the battle, Mrs. X was stripped by Miss B. while Mr. X roared that Mrs. X should not return to their matrimonial home.
That was one woman’s way of defending her territory and she got thoroughly beaten and disgraced for it. I think she had it coming too. How can any woman descend that low, and for a man’s sake? What if she suffered a mortal blow like ruptured spleen or spinal cord injury? She could have died, you know. And what would have become of the territory she desperately wanted to protect?
To physically attack your husband’s mistress is a totally foolish thing to do. It’s very demeaning and I tell you, no man is worth that trouble. He’d either do a cowardly disappearing act or issue a decree banning you from your matrimonial home.
As I was busy castigating this hot woman, one of my friends told me another tactic used by another woman on detecting that her husband has a mistress. She was angry and ready to do anything to stop the affair. She sent thugs after the girl. They gave her a thorough beating, dragged her out of her car and burnt it to ashes.
The snag in that tactic is that, it may endear your husband more to his mistress, especially if you had earlier threatened to deal with the other woman. You could still lose out or end up in a police cell if the thugs point you out.
One woman decided to cut her losses. As far as she knew, antagonizing his mistress was not the solution especially because the other woman was older and richer than her. She warmed her way into the mistress’ favour.
“What’s my own? She was ‘spending’ my husband, so why can’t I spend her money? At first, my husband was wary, afraid I was up to a mischief but he soon found out I had no time for lost battles. The woman was too old to have babies for my husband and she was loaded, always jetting around the globe. At the end, she helped me expand my business and one of my children in studying abroad on her bill.”
It wasn’t easy taking a step like that but what the hell; you might as well make the best of a bad situation. If your husband is on loan, make the best of it.
Readers’ rejoinders are welcome.
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