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Ways to spice up sex in your marriage

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Ways to spice up sex in your marriage

When it comes to sex, even the most deeply committed and head-over-heels-in-love couples will likely go through periods when intimacy happens rarely or not at all. Usually, there’s an obvious and logical reason for this, the birth of a baby, say, or a financial setback that has both partners feeling stressed.

But a lack of physical closeness can put a significant strain on a relationship, so it’s important to prevent a temporary dry spell from reaching the level of a no-end-in-sight drought. Start by making sure the problem isn’t due to a physical issue (erectile dysfunction, say, or vaginal pain during intercourse); if that seems to be the case, the affected partner should see a doctor.

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Equally important, be sure you’re on the same page about climbing out of your intimacy rut; if you aren’t, you may want to see a sex therapist or couples counselor to figure out if there’s a relationship issue that needs to be resolved. This often can be done through therapy, stress-reduction techniques, or medication to treat an issue like depression or anxiety.

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But if both of you are functioning normally and both of you are unhappy about the downturn your sex life has taken, there are all sorts of things you can do together to spice things up. Here are some ideas that have worked for other couples who’ve found themselves in the same situation. Feel free to alter any that appeal to you to fit your own the sensibilities and lifestyle.

Do Something New

This could be just about anything you and/or your partner are curious about or have always wanted to experiment with. Try different positions or have sex somewhere other than your bedroom. It could your kitchen, the shower, the hammock in your backyard, the back seat of your car, or a hotel.

If your idea of experimentation means getting a little kinky, shop for some sex toys together in person or online, or play around with safe forms of bondage (blindfolds or handcuffs, for instance).

Also, consider non-sexual pursuits. Sometimes taking up a new hobby together can fuel a renewed interest in intimacy simply by breaking your daily routine and allowing you to have different kinds of experiences together.

Turn on With Porn

There’s plenty to choose from and much of it is geared toward monogamous couples both straight and gay. Watching an erotic film with your lover can help get you both into the mood in the moment. It also can be a terrific source of sexy ideas to try, so it may be worth a few solo sneak peeks if you’re looking for something new to surprise your partner with. You might also consider reading erotica to each other.

Use Your Words

Of course, this can mean talking dirty if either of you is so inclined and know that you’ll find it arousing to hear your loved one utter certain words or phrases during sex. But it also means speaking up about what feels good and what doesn’t. Women, in particular, can be shy about giving directions to a lover during sex.

At the same time, though, by not expressing how or where you want to be touched, for example, you not only cheat yourself of pleasure you also deprive your partner of the thrill of knowing that he or she has made you feel wonderful. If saying words is truly too difficult, then try physically directing your partner with your hands.

Put Sex on the Calendar

Spontaneity can be overrated. If you and your partner are always waiting around for the perfect moment or for the mood to strike, you may be waiting around a lot, so sit down together and figure out when you both have time for sex and write it into your calendar.

And don’t just choose a date and time—make more specific plans: Choose a place, a room, even a fantasy you might want to act out. By setting the stage as much as possible beforehand, you also seed anticipation that can blossom into full-on arousal by the time you come together.

Make the Most of Your Smart Phone

Your phone has the potential to be a thousand times more arousing than the techiest vibrator if you use it right. As long as you know your lover will be able to receive messages in private, start sending sexts and erotic photos of you or what you’d like to do with him or her when the two of you can be alone. And when that happens, turn off your devices so that you focus on turning each other on.

• culled from verywellhealth.com

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Mum & Parenting

Activists task govts on justice for Ochanya, child abuse

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Activists task govts on justice for Ochanya, child abuse

Considering the high rate of sexual abuse being perpetuated against minors in the country, the Executive Director of Media Concern Initiative (MEDIACON), Dr. Princess Olufemi-Kayode has urged the three tiers of government, to address the menace, especially the case of Ochanya Ogbaje, 13 that lost her life to sexual violence in Benue State last year.

She made the call during a child protection workshop organised by the Centre for Children’s Health Education, Orientation and Protection (CEE-HOPE), a non-governmental organisation (NGO) in Lagos recently.

The workshop, which brought together civil society organisations and media practitioners, has the theme ‘’End Child Sexual Abuse: Justice For Ochanya’’.  Conversations at the forum focussed on strategies to render justice for Ochanya who lost her life to sex abuse.

It would be recalled that Ochanya, a native of Ogene-Amejo village in Okpokwu Local Government Area in Benue, allegedly died in 2018, from sex abuse. A Polytechnic lecturer, Mr. Andrew Ogbuja, and his son, Victor allegedly sexually abused the victim for five years.

The one-day workshop had in attendance the late Ochanya’s elder brother, Ameh Ejekwonyilo, Executive Director of Media Concern Initiative (MEDIACON), Dr. Princess Olufemi-Kayode, the CEO Yinka Kenny Productions, Olayinka Braide and Anthonia Ojenagbon, the three of whom are survivors of child sexual violence.

Betty Abah, founder of CEE-HOPE, a child right development NGO said the aim of the workshop was to sustain conversation about the epidemic of child sexual abuse in Nigeria, especially in the light of Ochanya’s case. “It’s almost a year; so we are using the opportunity to mark the first anniversary and to draw attention to the fact that the case is yet to be resolved.”

The high point of the workshop was the launch of a book ‘Reflections On The Child Sexual Abuse in Nigeria,’ a compilation of reports, editorials, opinions and special reports on child sexual abuse.

In her remark, Olufemi-Kayode who is also a sexual violence response expert, stressed that it was time child sexual abuse was addressed holistically with a view to curbing the trend.

According to her, several abuses have led to untimely death of many victims, while others have suffered physical pain, psychological and mental torture including stigma.  Olufemi-Kayode lamented that majority of violators were left off the hook due to weak legal system.  “There is need for governments to demonstrate the political will to tackle the problem at the federal, states and local government levels,” she added.

Speaking on “Where We Are on Ochanya’s Case’, Ejekwonyilo said the Nigerian Police (NPF) was yet to declare Victor, the second suspect in Ochanya’s case, wanted. Mrs Ogbuja who was also involved in the case and was being prosecuted by the National Agency for the Prosecution of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) for child endangerment, enslavement and negligence.

On her part, Olayinka Kehinde, CEO of Yinkakenny Productions, a media and entertainment services group, said it was time concerned groups began to make themselves support group for victims of sexual violations.

Yinkakenny said, “it’s time we made ourselves support system for people who have gone through abuse. Today, people commit suicide arising from bottled up feelings from sex abuse and violations.”

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Providing safe spaces for adolescent girls’ health

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Providing safe spaces for adolescent girls’ health

Nigeria will move closer to achieving major targets of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) by assuring adolescent girls access to health and critical social services, according to the Society for Family Health.

Fifi Ogbondeminu, Deputy Project Director of Adolescents 360 (A360), assured that the action will promote social inclusiveness and help drive down maternal mortality, unplanned pregnancies and unsafe abortion among adolescent girls and young women. She stated this at the National Conference on Inclusivity, Equality & Diversity in University Education hosted by the University of Lagos.

She explained that SFH started A360 in June 2017 to break down barriers to some critical social and health services for adolescent girls aged 15 to 19 years by creating safe spaces in public health facilities where they can achieve their dreams by acquiring life skills, vocational skills, and making informed choices to create the future they want.  “A360 co-designed the 9ja Girls Programme in Southern Nigeria, and Matasa Matan Arewa (MMA) in the north with adolescent girls and their influencers. The programme is funded by the Children Investment Fund Foundation (CIFF) and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (BMGF).

“While testing prototypes when A360 started, we considered the use of the existing youth friendly centres and primary healthcare centers (PHCs) to determine which was better for integrating youth-friendly services into the system. We found out that girls were willing to access services in PHCs as long as the providers were youth-friendly,” she added. The federal and state governments are therefore urged to upscale safe spaces for adolescent girls to more primary health care facilities.

A360 Nigeria built on the availability of health providers who were volunteering through government programmes such as the SURE-P and the N-power programmes, trained and built capacity of these volunteer service providers. The government could adopt replicable components of A360 programmes and absorb the trained volunteers, which will ensure trained and skilled youth-friendly providers remain in the system and girls continue to have access to adolescent sexual and reproductive health (ASRH) services even after A360 project closes out in 2020.

”States should also train service providers to be youth-friendly and provide Adolescent Sexual Reproductive Health, thereby increasing the network of youth-friendly service providers, which will in turn increase access,” said Adebusola Odulaja, Regional Coordinator of the A360 Project. One of the challenges of the programme is that girls complain of long distances to facilities, she said, adding, “adolescents are usually deprived of access to services. We see cases of facility security personnel turning girls back, thereby denying them access,” Odulaja explained.

With a maternal mortality ratio at 546 deaths per 100,000 live births (amounting to 40,000 pregnancy-related deaths annually), Nigeria accounts for 14 per cent of the global burden of maternal deaths, 95 per cent of which are caused by seven preventable conditions, including unsafe abortion. Each year, it is estimated that between 610,000 and 1.2 million abortions are procured by women aged 15-44 years. Experts say that if all females who need family planning had access, 44 per cent of all maternal deaths in Nigeria will be averted.

By ensuring inclusiveness for adolescents, SDG Goal 3 (Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages); and Goal 5 (Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls) will be automatically addressed.

The Regional Coordinator explained further that  in the safe spaces created for them, girls have access to trained counsellors, who give information and discuss with them sexual and reproductive health issues, as well as other life skills, while the sexually-active can voluntarily access modern contraceptives. According to her, major goal is to equip girls to delay the start of sexual activity, have healthy relationships, empower them to say no to sex, as well as to be able to negotiate when under pressure.

In the two Lagos local government areas (LGAs) where 9ja Girls is implemented, almost 23,000 girls have received adolescent sexual and reproductive health (ASRH) information and counselling, according to her. Saying that, the project is implemented in two LGAs each of nine states and the FCT, with four states in the South-West Zone, three in the South-South, and three in the North-Central. She said that, Matasa Matan Arewa (MMA), is an equivalent programme for married adolescent girls in the predominantly Muslim north, also focuses on adolescent girls within the same age bracket of 15 to 19 years.

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5.68m Nigerians sensitised on genital mutilation – UNICEF

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5.68m Nigerians sensitised on genital mutilation – UNICEF

The United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF) says that over 5.68 million individuals have been reached through radio, television and social media to end Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in Nigeria.

The Fund said that 5,094 girls were reached through sensitisation in primary and secondary schools and empowered with change agents in partnership with existing school clubs.

Mr Ben Mbakwem, the UNICEF FGM Consultant in Imo and Ebonyi states, said this at the 7th quarterly Meeting of Imo State Technical Committee (STC) on FGM Abandonment organised by the Imo State Ministry of Gender and Vulnerable Group Affairs in Owerri.

Mbakwem was represented by Dr Blessing Azubuike, the Director, Gender Affairs in the state Ministry of Gender at the programme held in collaboration with UNICEF, UNFPA and National Orientation Agency (NOA).

He said that 3,903 girls and women had also received health, social and legal services.

He said the figures covered the five states of Imo, Ebonyi, Ekiti, Osun and Oyo covered by NOA and UNICEF as states with the most prevalent in FGM.

Mbakwem said that UNFPA-UNICEF 2018 Joint Report indicated that 18 per cent of girls and women in Nigeria aged 15 to 49 years had undergone FGM, while over 14.8 million girls were at risk between 2015 and 2030.

He said that a lot of progress had been made since Nigeria joined other countries on the joint programme on FGM abandonment.

The official identified the successes to include the signing of the declaration of FGM performed by health-care providers as an unethical practice by 13 medical regulatory bodies after their meeting on the medicalisation of FGM in Nigeria.

Others, he said, were the ongoing efforts to include FGM indicators in the National Health Management Information System (NHMIS) and the recognition of FGM as Gender-Based Violence (GBV) in the first National GBNV Conference hosted by the Vice President of Nigeria.

Mbakwem said that already, 415 communities in Nigeria had made a public declaration of FGM abandonment with sustained FGM discussion in the Annual Women’s Home and Abroad Meeting (August Meeting) and inclusion of FGM in the “New Yam Festival” in South-East Nigeria.

Mr. Vitus Ekeocha, the Imo State Director of NOA, said that the quarterly meeting of the committee was to bring the implementing partners and other groups working for UNICEF, UNFPA and the state ministry of health together to coordinate their activities for an action plan on the next quarter.

He said the aim was to inculcate harmony and collaboration among the group as well as avoid waste of resources.

Ekeocha expressed regret that the technical committees had not been up and doing in their meetings and urged them to regularly liaise with the state technical committee to harmonise their activities.

Dr Blessing Azubuike, the Director, Gender Affairs in Imo Ministry of Gender, said that the ministry was doing everything possible to achieve results in the effort to end FGM in the state, but added that much more was still needed. She called on the participants to take the meeting very seriously.

According to her, the technical committee is important in the work to end the practice of FGM, to avoid duplication of programmes and for high-level advocacy to enable people to buy into the programme. “There is high-level progress in the FGM awareness creation as people are now more open to speaking on the issue; if one person is prosecuted it will serve as a deterrent to others,” she said.

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A strong case for womenfolk

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A strong case  for womenfolk

Last Tuesday, at 14th inauguration of the Lions Club International of its President and other executives, the bigwigs of Lagos gathered to re-echo the need to give women more opportunities to take more leadership positions, Muritala Ayinla reports

 

 

It was indeed a gathering of successful Nigerians in both public and private sectors. The investiture was a reunion of current and former top government functionaries at the state, federal level, lawmakers in the state and National Assembly. All the guests described the 14th President of the Club, Mrs Folashade Ashafa who got inaugurated, was described as  a jolly good fellow, selfless in her approach to dealing with the rich and poor.

Among the dignitaries were former Minister of the State for Defense, Chief Demola Seriki; Celebrator’s husband, Senator Gbenga Ashafa; Lagos State Head of Service, Mr Hakeem Muri-Okunola; Wife of the former Lagos State Governor and current Minister of Works and Housing, Mrs Dame Abimbola Fashola; the Senior Special Assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on Millennium Development Goals and former Deputy Governor in Lagos State, Princess Adejoke Orelope-Adefulire; the former Chief of State to the Lagos State Governor, Chief Lanre Babalola;  Mr Bashir Tosin Ashafa; The Managing Director, MDC Consulting Limited, Mr Akinyele Oladeji among others.

Reading her acceptance speech, Mrs Ashafa said that she remained committed to the ideals of the founding fathers of the humanitarian club by contributing her quotas in the development of society and assisting of the needy.

According to her, service is embedded in the atmosphere in which love, encouragement and love reign, adding that she would focus on free eye care, cancer treatment, youth empowerment,  hunger relief, environment,  diabetic screening and other interventions to assist humanity.

She said: “I want to reiterate to serve humanity by using this platform to assist the less privileged in our society with unflinching support. I have taken time to study my environment and in line with the Lion International Centennial goals, that will impact our community, I have come up with project plans that will impact our community.”

Mrs Ashafa, who said that women have the potential to contribute to society if given the opportunity to make an impact, said that special attention would be given to the children and youths and other vulnerable in the society in her tenure.

Also speaking was the former Lagos First Lady, Mrs Fashola, who expressed confidence in Mrs Ashafa’s ability to take the Lions Club to a greater height through frequent uplifting of the downtrodden by way of medical and economic empowerment.

Mrs. Fashola, who called on people in the position of authority to allow women to take up more functions in the task of nation building, said that Nigerian women have contributed immensely to the nation building through teaching morals and active participation in the nation’s development.

The former deputy governor, Princess Orelope-Adefulire, said that going by the few women given opportunity to serve in Nigeria and their contributions to the nation, there  was no doubt that the new Lions Club would excel. “I felicitate with her on assumption as the president of the club, we have no doubt that we pray God will assist. It is one thing to become a leader of an organization it another to make a meaningful impact.”

A renowned movie producer and philanthropist, Tosin Ashafa expressed delight that Mrs Ashafa was recognised for her role in helping the less privileged in society, expressing optimism that she would do more as president of the Lions Club. “She has been in active humanitarian role since I was born. She has always been a caregiver and helping those around her. I am glad that she will be able to do more with her position as the president of the club. We will on our part do as much as we can to support her and encourage in all capacity to succeed in this new responsibilities,” he said.

The Lagos HoS, Muri-Okunola urged the new Lions Club president to remain committed to the ideals of helping to lift the less privileged, describing her emergence as indication of undeniable roles of women in building society and indeed the nation. “To ask questions on role of women in nation building is to doubt the role. As far as I am concerned women have surpassed their expectations,” he said.

The celebrator’s husband Ashafa commended all the friends and associates for honouring the family, saying, “I do not have any doubt that with God on her side, she would deliver in her responsibilities as the President of Lions Club.”

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Call us pilots not drivers, Female BRT drivers demand

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Call us pilots not drivers, Female BRT drivers demand

Naturally, they are female drivers, driving the Lagos long buses popularly known as BRT. They drive normally like their male counterparts, tact, careful but a bit aggressive behind the steering.  A week long trip with them through the city of Lagos, revealed that they are not only skilled at driving, they are also beautiful and look adorable but stern in their outfits.

In a chat with some of the female drivers at their Oshodi park, they told New Telegraph that they would rather prefer to be addressed as pilots and not drivers because the word ‘driver’ sounds crude and archaic.

  According to Jane Odunawu, a female BRT driver, graduate and mother of three said she has become passionate with driving BRT. Before now, she was  into buying and selling of cloth but it was not a profitable business for her as customers often too owed her money, thereby making her run short of profits. “I have to wait till months end to have my money. It got to a point that I was cashless and I have to take care of my children at home. So, I decided to take driving as a profession.  I started working as a driver 2014.I worked for visionscape for a year and two month, I also work for premier road BRT at Ikorodu and the red BRT and finally I become a pilot at these BRT terminals.”

The schedule for her, she explained starts from 3am daily to resume work and close by 2pm. “Sometimes, I resume in the afternoon and close at night depending on my shift for the week,” she said. She quipped that there are times she close late because of traffic which has become a common feature of Lagos cities.   

Odunawu is so passionate about her job that she refuses to see any challenge in it. For her, if there was any in the at all, she would not see it, as long as the job cater for her needs. “I don’t really have challenges because naturally while growing up, I love driving, so in the driving accept I don’t have challenges,” she enthused.

However, she accepted that there could be challenges in some areas especially passengers manners of approach to them. She said that passengers talk to them like they are nobody. “They talk to me in a saucy way, but because of the training I have gone through and what I have been told by my boss, I don’t respond to them. I will just let them say anything they want to say and I carry on with my work.” The other area is she said has to do with her children school PTA meeting. She said before her first child finished secondary school, she was always unable to attend her children PTA meeting, “but thank God, my first child is out of secondary school, so she does represent me at the meeting and sometimes my husband go for the meeting,” she said.

    Meanwhile, Odunawu recounted a memory when she started driving BRT in 2015. She said passengers were scared to board the bus because they saw a lady behind the wheel. “But with time, they started loving and appreciating us, and we are one of the best drivers, we are calm and have good communication skills. The industry are even looking out for more females, they just need to be trained before starting the job. With God, we actually do better than our male counterparts.”

Relating with her colleagues, she said she is lucky to solid relationship with them than male counterparts.                 “I don’t have challenges with my colleague because I present myself as a decent woman. They give me maximum respect as a woman. Once in a while, we argue on some issues but then, it ends there and we know how to handle ourselves. Luckily for me, my husband is alright  with my job in as much as I’m not moving away from our children. He advises me to work only during the week and my boss corporate with me on that.”

She concluded by encouraging the women out there to come into the system if possible. She advised them not to be shy of about the job so long it fetches them daily income. “I wave at my friends and even stop to greet my people while driving. A week ago someone actually saw me while driving on Friday and she was amazed and later came to meet me at the church to ask me about the job and I told her I was doing my job and collecting good salary. And she was like hailing and praising me.”

Mrs. Ewatomi Babalola, also a female BRT pilot, mother of one and a graduate told New Telegraph that she joined the leagues of female BRT drivers when she couldn’t get a job after graduation. And since she joined, she has not regretted it once. “My past experience is that I could not get a job after so many years that I graduated. I was happy when I later found a genuine job, which is driving of BRT bus, I was informed by my cousin that they are looking for  a female  that can drive BRT bus at Oshodi BRT terminal, and I told my cousin that I can drive very well. I went for the interview and was employed as one of the female BRT pilots, which I started three month ago.”

She explained that she resume work by 6am and close by 3pm in the afternoon. In her own situation, she is lucky to have a housemaid who helps to carry out her domestic chores, also help her does school runs for her child. “When I resume from work I do my responsibility as a mother ,and depending on Lagos traffic,  there might be a lot of traffic sometimes, I got home late which might be 4pm, with that I still have time for my family,” she said.

Babalola also corroborated Odunawu about having occasional hitches with passengers. She said that she does have challenges with some passengers with the saucy way they talk to her. “They talk, bully and insult me but I just keep quiet and ignore them. I have to exude that I’m a decent woman and a graduate, so, I choose to ignore them. My boss has also warned during orientation that we have to persevere and accommodate.

“I love my job and it has thus far been stress free for me. I advice my fellow women not to be reluctant to do the job when the opportunity surfaces. It is a decent job that certainly put food on the table. Do not think of what people will say, rather, pursue your dream and achieve your goal.”

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War against rape, child molestation

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War against rape, child molestation
  • 54 NGOs storm Lagos, Abuja, Enugu, Maiduguri

 

 

The campaign to ensure child-safety and prevention of rape received a great boost in the past one week as no fewer than 54 non-governmental organisations stormed major state capitals across the country, pressing for concerted efforts to stop callous acts against them. Biyi Adegoroye reports

 

 

 

The Non- Governmental Organisations (NGOs) came from major parts of the country, but were united in one mission – ‘a movement against rape and pedophilia.’  Hence, their leadership donned various colours of shirts and carried placards with assorted inscriptions held rallies, lectures and open campaigns in Lagos, Abuja, Enugu and Maiduguri in a mass movement to drive home a point about the rampant nature of rape and pedophilia, warning against the damaging effects.

Recall that rape and child sexual molestations have been on the upward swing in recent times in Nigeria, as pupils, male and female have been victims at schools, churches, mosques as well as students in the higher institutions being sexually assaulted.

Five students of the University of Lagos are currently being prosecuted for attempted gang-rape a fellow student, while three students of Ondo State College of Health Technology, Akure were remanded in prison for rape of a fellow student. Perhaps, the most devastating was the arraignment and detention in prison of a soldier in Ondo State, Sunday Arowolo of the 32 Artillery Brigade of the Nigerian Army, for raping a student of the Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba.

In a recent interview with New Telegraph, a Consultant Family and Sexual Assault Physician at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, (LASUTH), in Ikeja, Dr.  Olajimi Sodipo said the Domestic Sexual Violence Response Team, has treated over 5,000 clients in the past six years and that was just scratching the surface because they attend to about 20 clients a week.

The movement, titled: “Rape: Which Way Out?” drew government’s attention to the disturbing menace and called for enforcement various laws against rape, child sexual abuse and molestations. It also enunciated what roles children, parents, teachers, care-givers and religious leaders can play in stemming the tide.

The colourful events held by the NGOs whose areas of specialization cut across health and advocacy, included talks in local dialects and English Language as well as presentations in the forms of dramas by children and adults to draw attention to the physical and emotional dangers associated with rape.

Some of the NGOs at the occasion were “My Child My Treasure Foundation, Clare Cares Foundation, Stop This Stigma Nigeria, Bimbo Odukoya Foundation and VGF Foundation. Others were Child and Impaired’s Advocates, (CIA), Mushin to the World, Macaulay Nkechi, Complete Care Foundation, Safe Child Today Officials, TrueA International Foundation Ecocheroes Foundation and NGO Network.”

According to Convener of the events, Jane Ugwumadu of Save the Child Mission, the event was designed to make a strong statement and to draw attention of the federal and state governments to the prevalence of rape and pedophilia with the view ridding the society of them.  At the Lagos event which held at the Freedom Park, Ojota, the Ugwamadu said relevant laws against rape and sexual molestation should be more severe and there must be certainty of enforcement in order to serve as deterrent.

She said “Rape: Which Way Movement”  (RWWM),  is a 20,000people sensitization which involves various NGOs in Nigeria. “The aim of the sensitization is to enlighten the general public on various ways of protecting and ensuring the safety and well being of children/wards within their environment, due to the incessant increase of rape/sexual abuse and assault affecting the society at large.

“We also aim to inform and enlighten the general public on their right to report such cases and demand appropriate justice when it arises and ensure that the maximum punishment is dealt out to such paedophiles who makes our vulnerable children/ward scared and thereby threatened the peace and sanity of the society. This movement is for both young and old, survivors, concerned individuals, companies, government parastatals and others.”

Also, the President of My Child My Treasure Foundation, Mrs. Florence Chukwura lamented that whereas scores of laws exit in the nation’s statute books, many of these are not enforced. “The story in the media daily has been very disgusting. You hear and read about fathers raping and impregnating their teenage children and mothers concealing it to avoid stigma in the family or a kind of double tragedy where a father goes to prison while his daughter is put in family way.

“In many cases, they even forget the stigma, social and psychological, on the teenage child for life. It is even worse when lesson teachers, pastors and Islamic instructors take sexual advantage of little girls in their care. It is scary. Just where can one find trust and care for this little ones?”

Executive Secretary of Child Safety Advocates, (CIA), Barr. Sylvia Ogunfuyi, called for inter-ministerial collaboration among ministries of Health, Education, Justice and Social Development as well as international agencies to stem the dangerous tide.  “The law enforcement agents, ministries and development partners should rally round government in this regard while families and other institutions play their parts.

“The law is clear on rape. Chapter 25 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2015, Section 260 (1) says ‘Any man who has unlawful sexual intercourse with a woman or girl without her consent, commits the offence of rape and liable on conviction to imprisonment for life,” while attempted rape attracts 14 years in prison.

“The same is true of defilement, because the same law in Section 137 says ‘any person who has sexual intercourse with a child commits a felony and is liable on conviction to imprisonment for life,’ while indecent treatment of a child attracts seven years imprisonment.’”

According to her, while many states of the federation have criminalized these sexual offences and even domesticated the Child Rights Acts, the prevalence of these crimes in the face of these efforts has necessitated the need for concerted efforts, legal, administrative and educative to address the cancerous problem.

Ugwumadu commended participants in all parts of the country for the huge success of the campaign, stating that the feedback has been enormous. “Rape survivors are grateful for the campaign; families of rape victims as well as others crying in silence and children who were victims of sexual molestation were excited about the success of the event which they said will shift the narrative and add more impetus to stop rape and sexual molestation.”

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Our son is dying slowly of malnutrition – Parents

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Our son is dying slowly  of malnutrition – Parents

This is definitely the most trying moments for parents of Hassan Muhammad in Wabu village Gamawa Local Governmnt Area of Bauchi state. They are desperately in need of help for their two-year-old son dying from acute malnutrition and cannot do anything about the illness.

Muhammed, according to his mother has been suffering for a long time of a yet to be diagnosed sickness. His father Rabo pleaded for urgent help from government, individual and corporate bodies to enable them find cure for his dying son.  Rabo said there is nothing they could do to save the child but to watch on helplessly, which, is quite heart rending. He explained that his son was diagnosed of malnutrition at Wabu health care facility, but lamented that the sickness has persisted and is gradually killing his child, which made him more confused if it was really malnutrition or something else.

“He said, “we have been receiving treatment and attending the maternity without knowing the actual disease our child is suffering from. We have not been referred to another hospital from Wabu maternity for further treatment; and even if they refer us to another hospital, we cannot afford the treatment fees.”

The mother of the child, Hajia Aisha, said that their biggest concern was the inability of the health care facility to properly diagnose the ailment her son was suffering from, making him to be in critical situation of his life. Aisha said, “we are blind as far as his sickness is concern, we don’t know what really is his illness, and we cannot not do anything about it for now.”

Reacting to the predicament of the parents and their sick child, Hajiya Altine, the health personnel in-charge of Wabu maternity in Gamawa LGA of Bauchi state, said that even the mother of the sick baby lacked balanced diet that can translate into healthy breast milk to feed the twins, especially the one that is hit by the severe acute malnutrition.  According to her, the child has been battling with diarrhea, malaria from birth and “a yet-to-be identified disease.

Hajiya Altine, who expressed concern over the health situation of the child, said that the poor financial status of the parents has also hindered them to transfer the case to another hospital.   “Whenever we try asking them to go to general hospital for further checks, their response has always been, ‘we don’t have money to do that,” Altine explained.

When New Telegraph visited the child, he truly looked malnourished, in fact, looked lifeless! He couldn’t breath properly, couldn’t lift his hand or even try to move his body, he just laid down looking hazily at his parents and around him. According to the health personnel, they told New Telegraph that the child is suffering from Severe Acute Malnutrition ( SAM).

New Telegraph checks revealed that the out of stock of “Ready to Use Therapeutic Food ” (RUTF) used for the effective cure of SAM, being experienced in all the CMAM centers across the state may have aggravated the severity of little Hassan’s ailment.

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Mum & Parenting

Empowering women through Goats Breeding Scheme

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Empowering women through Goats Breeding Scheme

Feelers from beneficiaries of the Jigawa Goats Breeding Micro Finance Scheme, showed that the programme initiated in 2015 is a success story. Governor Mohammad Badaru echoed it at a recent town hall meeting in Dutse.

He noted that the goats breeding scheme was the most successful micro-credit scheme in the state, with 92 per cent retention and 79 per cent repayment level.

Badaru said that the objective of the scheme was to diversify the economy and reduce poverty among women.

“Our state has one of the highest level of poverty, especially amongst women and this is something we must stop.

“The easiest and most effective way to alleviate poverty is through the goats multiplication programme which we borrowed from Bostwana and South Africa, where millions of women were removed out of poverty,” the governor said. Available records showed that through the programme, the state had so far empowered over 8,428 rural women with 25,284 goats.

Testimonies from the beneficiaries indicated that through the scheme, the women were “ largely removed from poverty line and their living conditions enhanced.

Aisha Musa, one of the beneficiaries in Dunari village of Mallammadori Local Government Area, said she realised  27 goats from the three goats given to her.

“ What I do now is buying and selling of goats. Whenever I sell, I buy small ones to replace.

“Through this scheme, I can comfortably buy clothes, food and others basic needs for myself and my children,” she said.

Another beneficiary, Sadiya Madu, said through the scheme, she performed her first Eid-el-Kabir sacrifice, an important religious obligation in Islam.

“I sacrificed one of my goats in 2018 Sallah. Before then, my husband only slaughtered chicken during Sallah because of financial problems.

“That is why I remain grateful to this government for supporting us with these goats,” she said.

A blind woman in Mallammadori town, Yagana Mohammad, said she was left with nine goats after she gave out three of the 12 goats she had to another woman as required.

“ Out of the nine goats, I have decided to give out one goat to my guide and another one to my grandson as gifts.

“ The two of them have been very helpful and nice to me, and that is why I have always prayed to God to give me the opportunity to pay them back,” she said.

Falmata Adamu, a widow in Guri town, said she reared seven goats to complement her farming activities.

She said: “My husband died and left me with a small farm in which I cultivate guinea corn. After I lost the entire crop to the 2018 devastating flood, I had only my goats to fall back on.

“Each time I need money, I will just sell one to meet my needs and replace it with a small one,” she said.

As a result of the success of the scheme, Jigawa Government plans to start the exportation of goats.

Alhaji Hamza Muhammad, Badaru’s Special Assistant on Community Service, said the state planned to start exporting goats to Saudi Arabia.

He also said that a committee had been set up to ensure that the goats’ loans were recovered and the multiplication output of the scheme marketed and sold at reasonable prices.

Muhammad said that each local government area received 660 goats which were distributed to 220 selected women, including the physically challenged.

The official said that each beneficiary received one he-goat and two she-goats, and was expected to pay back with three goats in 18 months, so that other women could benefit.

He said the state chose goats because of economic value of goats and simplicity to rear.

Muhammad said feeding the goats was not a problem to the women who were mostly rural dwellers as grasses were in abundance in their villages.

Alhaji Lai Mohammed, the former Minister of Information and Culture, who commented on the scheme, said it was a model for other states to copy.

He spoke in November 2017 when he visited Jigawa on an official visit.

He said: “It is a very good initiative because goats produce twice a year, and most goats give birth to two or three kids.

“So, this is a very good initiative and there is a need for other states to copy from Jigawa.”

• Nabilu Balarabe writes for the News Agency of Nigeria, NAN

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Mum & Parenting

Lagos committed to maternal, child mortality reduction, says Abayomi

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Lagos committed to maternal, child mortality reduction, says Abayomi

Lagos State Commissioner for Health, Prof. Akin Abayomi has said that the continuous implementation of strategic maternal child survival interventions, policies, programmes and projects by the State Government is geared towards reduction of maternal and child mortality in Lagos State.

Abayomi who stated this, on Wednesday at an advocacy meeting with some stakeholders, community leaders and residents of Badore Community in Eti-Osa local government area of the State noted that local and national statistics of maternal and child mortality and morbidity rate were of utmost concern to the state government hence the adoption of various strategies to combat it. “One of these strategies is the construction of maternal and childcare centre (MCC); a specialized healthcare centre for mothers and children aimed at taking maternal and child health care closer to the people by reducing the travel time and  improving the quality care to the highest possible standard,” the Commissioner said.

Aboyomi who was represented at the meeting by the Director of Projects in the Ministry of Health, Dr. Olusoga Oduwole noted that the State government as completed yet another MCC which is located on Ogombo Road along Abraham Adesanya Estate in Eti-Osa local government area as part of effort to increase access of residents of the area to qualitative and efficient maternal and child health services.

“The facility which will commence operation soon is a four-floor 110-bed complex designed to respond to maternal and child health issues by providing quality services for the restoration, improvement and promotion of the health and well-being of women, babies and children in the local government area and adjoining communities,” he said.

The Commissioner explained that the facility has two theatres where surgeries could be done, consulting rooms, treatment rooms, antenatal and post natal wards, baby nursery, pharmacy, laboratory, and offices amongst others.

Abayomi added that the construction of MCCs in Lagos State was designed to stem the tide of maternal deaths which occurs as a result of delivery by unskilled birth attendants, hemorrhage, infection, obstructed labour and malaria among others stressing that, women should not die in the course of life procreation process.

According to him, “the concept of the construction of maternal and childcare centres was mooted with the conviction that these interventions would impact positively on the health indices of our mothers and children who constitute a significant percentage of clients attended to at public health facilities.”

The Commissioner noted that the Eti-Osa MCC will commence operation before the end of the week and will serve as a referral centre to all primary health facilities in Eti-Osa local government and accompanying communities. He opined that the facility will yield the much desired and anticipated impact towards the reduction of maternal and child mortality in the area.

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Mum & Parenting

Our society is full of untrained children – LG Chair

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Our society is full of untrained children – LG Chair

Parents have been urged on the need to build the right influence and good character in their children.

According to most of the speakers and panelists at the National Character Parenting Summit, parents have duty to nurture their children and help them to develop positive influence and good character.

The forum themed: ‘Parental Influence and Character Development: where to draw the line,’ was held in Lagos.

While challenging participants, comprising parents, teachers and school children, among others, Executive Chairman, Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State, Mr.  Jelili Sulaimon, who stated  that  one of the major issues affecting the  country was lack of good parenting.

He pointed out that most parents have neglected their responsibilities on their children as they took their businesses and careers more important.

As a result of this misplaced priority, he said the society was full of untrained children.

“No wonder we have children who have turned vagabonds and hoodlums in the society today,” he said. To correct this, the chairman reminded parents that they were care givers and not caretakers, saying that they have major obligations to nurture their children physically, spiritually, academically and mentally, being heritage of God.

Sulaimo challenged participants to rise to the occasion, while advising children to also listen to their parents’ instructions.

He lauded the Convener of the forum  and Chief Executive Officer of 1st Royal Character and Values Limited, Mrs Bose Olusola -Obasa, for her doggedness.

Guest Speaker at the forum and former Commissioner of Work in Ogun State, Dr.  (Mrs)  Doyin Ogunbiyi, said that good parental influence and character development were imperative in bringing up a child, especially at the present dispensation of moral decadence in the society

According to her, integrity was essential in everything people do, adding that integrity would give someone good character.

She lamented that the trend in the society called for sobering reflection, recalling her youthful years, when mothers disciplined their wards. “Today’s mothers are sleeping on duty. They don’t discipline children again. This is wrong.  “Then, mothers used to mold their children, unlike now when children are not being disciplined when they erred.”

Supporting her claims with the scripture, “spare the rod and spoil the child,” she said it was divined for parents to correct their wards.

Comparing modern day upbringing of children to her period, Ogunbiyi said it was unheard then  that  children talked back at their mothers.

According to her, some children were rebellious from birth, hence the importance of discipline.

She said: “Parents are careless nowadays as they encourage their children to misbehave.

The society is the way it is now as a result of inadequacy on the part of parents.

“Nowadays, children don’t challenge intellectually. What they know is about games, sex and fashion, etc.”  The former commissioner of work in Ogun State, called on parents to build moral qualities in their children.

According to her, parents should follow God’s order, adding that they have a major role to play and that children have sub-major role to play also.

She stated that bringing up a child was a process and a duty, which every parent must not be sentimental about.

“We should be careful to monitor them; you must teach them how to be organised,” she said, adding that families determined the nation.

“Our mothers know what to do to mold a child.  Mothers need to relate with their children well,” Ogunbiyi said.

On whether there is a line between parental influence and character development,  a Character Coach and Pastor in Four Square Church, David Adegboyega, said that both were like pictures that control life.

Adegboyega, a panelist stated that influence was about one’s life character.

According to him, what children saw their parents doing and what was  going on around them have a way on influencing  and  shaping their characters.

Director of Finance, Signal and System Limited, Mrs.  Susan Tayo, said that a lot of ills in the society could be traced to parenting, noting that influence was like a lifestyle.

She said that three types of parenting existed namely : commandeering approach  coaching and counselling, pointing out that a parents should know when to apply  these approaches.

According to Tayo, control of a child should be reduced as he/she grows, enjoining parents to sit-up and be prepared to answer any question posed to them by their children.

Popular Anchor of Your Show on  TVC,  Mrs.  Morayo Afolabi -Brown, pointed out that every single child was different, explaining that there were kinetic, audio and visual children   To her, parents must understand their children and find the right parenting influence for them.

She said what she had noticed was that most parents were lazy when it came to seeking knowledge.

“Parents must learn how to respond to their teenagers,” she said.

Head, Department of Education, Alimosho Local Government Area, Lagos, Mrs. Olajumoke Akinyemi, bemoaned moral decadence in the society, noting that it started from homes.  When talking about parental influence, she noted that children have a way of imitating their parents, calling on the latter to be of positive influence and character to their wards. She noted that most of the contemporary parents were not well parented.

Popular Actress and Managing Director, moEmerald Production Concept Limited, Mrs.  Moyinoluwa Olutayo, differentiated between influence and control, adding that there should be a level of influence to be transferred to a child. She urged  parents that it has become a must for them to have oversight functions over their children  “Freedom has control. No matter the level of freedom a child wants, he or she needs control,” she said.

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