Body & Soul

I’m going hubby shopping

Dave’s heart flutters. He draws the
papers towards him, and gives
the doctor an inquisitive stare. His
heart beats wildly. Without looking at the
laboratory result, he raises his eyebrow.
“Spill it doc,” he says dryly and clears his


I’m going hubby shopping
The doctor stares at him grimly and asks,
“How long have you been married?”


That question throws Dave off balance.
“Em…er…we’re getting married,” he replies,
wondering if he had said anything
at all.


“Oh good,” the doctor says, his face breaking
into smiles.


“Then do that immediately and come register
for antenatal,” he adds.


Dave stares at the doctor.


“Antenatal? That means she is pregnant?”
Dave asks, confused.


The doctor nods and says, “She’s nine
weeks gone. We’re changing her drugs immediately.
Fever and pregnancy are not the
best of friends. She needs a lot of rest…”
Dave’s mind dashes in different directions.
Pregnant? How? For who? Could Kathryn
have cheated with that sonofabitch Ben?
Nine weeks!
“Mr…?” the doctor inquires.
“Dave…I’m Dave,” he tells him, shaking
off his thought.
“Er….doctor, don’t say anything about
this to her…I want to break the news to her
myself,” he says.
“Oh, no problem. I remember when my
wife became pregnant for the first time. That
was over 50 years ago. We were in school
then. I was in my first semester in the university.
I’m sure I had that expression on my
face when I visited home and she gave me
the news. It wasn’t funny. I need to go on
ward rounds,” the doctor says, standing up.

Two days later, Kathryn is back in her
house. She’s lying on the divan.
“Me, nine weeks pregnant? Am I dreaming?
But I didn’t miss my monthly cycle.
How come? Just a quick in and out done out
of extreme passion and now this?” Kathryn
mutters to herself.
She remembers the only time this pregnancy
could have occurred and smiles. Just
a nick and now this!
It has happened. She can take care of a
She is still not feeling very strong. Is this
what pregnant women go through? Yet they
pass that route again and again!
“Thank you Mama Mia,” she says to no
one and closes her eyes.
This new ‘status’ needs getting used to. As
she drifts off to sleep, the clanking of pots
and spoons jars her awake. After a while,
she sleeps off.

Dave clears the last dirt in the kitchen sink.
The food prepared for him two days ago
was rotten. No one ate it. There were more
pressing needs. He was practically in the
hospital with Kathryn those two nights. She
is pregnant, less than three months into the
relationship, and they had played safe all
this while!
He reminisces over the whole thing. Then
it drops! Those few minutes of madness
without the sheath!
“Oh my lawd!” He exclaims and a pot falls
off his hands.
“That must be it! The baby is mine.”
He takes the food he bought out of the ‘eat
out’ packs and serves them in two plates.
He carries them to the dinette.
Kathryn is sleeping.
“My darling,” he calls out gently.
Kathryn’s eyes flutter open.
“Food is ready,” he says, adding, “Lemme
help you up.”
She allows herself to be helped to the table.
After the meal, Dave looks into her eyes
and says, “Many times, we look for gold
where it isn’t. I observed you that night
in the club before I came over to sit beside
you. I was lonely and having watched you,
I thought you were too.
“Since I met you, you have given me joy,
joy and more joy. However, I need you to
tell me something.”
Kathryn sits up. She wonders what is
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to ask this
question without sounding harsh, but ask,
I must. Has er…er…Ben or any other man
been with you since we met?”
It’s finally out!
Kathryn sighs audibly.
“I had a very rough past. No one asked me
to quit. I did so myself. I did because I had
enough of that life, I did because I wanted to
have my own family, I wanted to make something
honest out of my life. I did because I
got tired of having dealings with too many
strange men. I was hoping to have a man
that will be mine and I will be his forever.
W e
met when I
was searching
for that
“Now to
answer your
question, no
other man
has been
with me since
we met.”
Dave’s face
lit up. You
could see the
“Thank you
so much,” he
“One thing
t h o u g h , ”
Kathryn says
and asks,
“Where is
your wife?”
“I have no
wife. I’ve
never been
married. I
was looking
for a wife before
I met you
and I stopped searching immediately I set
my eyes on you,” he replies.
“Are you telling me all these because of the
baby in my womb?” Kathryn asks.
“No dear, I fell in love with you the day I
met you. The baby is an additional blessing.
We are meant for each other, that I know,”
he replies.
He then stands, pulling her up too. He
takes her to the divan. As she sits, he pulls
a little box from his pocket, opens it and
picks the dainty ring therein.
With one knee on the floor, he pops the
million dollar question, “Will you marry
The surprise on Kathryn’s face is better
Her eyes move from the ring to him and
back to the ring. Then, without warning,
tears course down her cheeks.
“Yes, I will marry you,” she says tearfully.
Dave slips the ring on to her finger, kisses
the finger, then her lips and her tummy.
“Don’t cry baby. I will never stop loving
you. Lemme clear the table, just take a rest.
We have a lot to talk about,” he says and
moves to the dinette.
Kathryn sits, transfixed. She looks at the
beautiful, shinny ring and kisses it.
Then the tears come flooding down again.
The bell chimes and as she makes to get
up, Dave pops his head out of the kitchen.
“I’ll get it,” he says and moves to the door.
A man is behind the security man.
“Good evening sir. Aunty madam has a
visitor,” the security man says, making way
for the other man.
“Good evening. You’re Kathryn’s uncle I
suppose. I’ve seen you leave her house before.
We never get to meet though. Have
wanted to meet you. I’ll like to see Kathryn.
I’m sorry I called but her phone was
switched off,” the man says.
“Who are you?” Dave asks.
He says, “My name’s Ben. I’m a very good
friend of Kathryn…” Dave cuts him off.
“Kathryn is sleeping. I wouldn’t want anybody
to wake her up,” he says curtly and all
but slams the door in Ben’s face.
Kathryn does not know who Dave spoke
to at the door but the fire in his eyes warns
her that something is terribly amiss. That
must be Killjoy that came calling!
“My baby,” she begins but Dave thunders,
“Who is this Ben? What business do you
have with him? Why did you tell him I’m
your uncle?”
Colour drains from Kathryn’s face…
She looks at the shiny ring on her finger
and then at the man that gave it to her a few
minutes ago. She sees anger in his eyes…
and something else.
“Baby, calm down. You are just working
yourself up over nothing,” she tells him
Dave stares at her.
“Calm down? Calm down when you told
another man that I’m your uncle? Calm
down when you told me that that same man
was just a friend? How could you Kathryn?”
Dave asks.
“Until a while ago, I was just your girlfriend.
A lady of marriageable age who was
searching for a husband. If no other man
had been interested in me, you should have
been worried, Dave,” she replies.
“So, what’s your relationship with Ben
now?” Dave asks.
“Cordial,” she says.
“It’s okay my wife. You are right. Until a
while ago, you thought I was married. It’s
okay. But, I want you to know that you are
a married woman now. I’m very jealous,
I’ll appreciate it you remember that every
time,” Dave says, adding, “Before I forget,
you are moving into my house immediately.
You can imagine what could have happened
if I didn’t come in just in the nick of time
three days ago.”
He draws her into his arms, his mouth
seeking hers.
She goes weak at the knees. Dave has such
effect on her. He divests her of her clothes,
turns her around and takes a very long and
hard look at his possession. It’s as if he wants
to imprint her features on his mind.
Then, he lays her gently on the divan and
plants a kiss on every part of her body.
Kathryn moans as his hands and mouth
work on her. After going over every part
of her body, he burrows his face in her
cave of wonders. Kathryn shivers. It’s her
weakness. She smiles. Few men do that to a
woman. She is glad that Dave is one of those
few. Those are men who understand that a
woman needs to be pleasured also.
Most men enjoy being given head but shy
away from giving their partner the same
treatment. As Dave’s tongue and fingers
flitter in there, touching nerve endings and
beginnings, sugar floods her system. She
feels the storm gathering and to keep it at
bay, she allows her mind to wander.
Different thoughts flood her mind. A joke
shared by a friend on BBM makes her smile.
“Those of you who like girls giving you BJ
should beware. Just heard that a guy had
one of his balls cracked in the process of
having his babe suck and chew him hard.
He’s just been rushed to the hospital. These
babes these days handle that stuff as if they
are chewing Shawarma…” Then, there’s the
one that warns men to know the health status
of their babes. The story is that a babe
nearly chop off a whatchamacallit with her
teeth when she had epileptic seizure while
giving her partner head. A smile flickers
across her face as she moans again. Dave is
making her delirious, he’s getting near her
spot. As his teeth hover playfully around
her clit while his tongue prods deeper, it
suddenly occurs to her that whoever invented
those jokes – if they are just jokes, that
is – must be chauvinistic males. Who says a
woman is not in danger of having the male
teeth clamping down hard on the clit? She
shivers as Dave’s tongue flirts around her
G-spot then settles on it. The storm breaks
and then the big O. She goes into spasms
and by the time it subsides, Dave, rock hard,
is kneeling before her.


You don’t wanna miss the next installment
of this sumptuous meal on Sunday!

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