Feminique

In desperate need of being a Mrs

…and she died a Mrs

Marriage, as ordained by God, is a gift to mankind. Hence, it is only legitimate that every man and woman desires it. Be that as it may, some seem not destined to partake in it. Unfortunately, the society doesn’t see that while it is a grace and luck for some people, it does not mean that it is bad omen for those who do not partake in it. As such, some ladies are becoming desperate even beyond bounds to ensure that they get married; damning whatever attendant consequences is associated with their desires.

They just have to be Mrs. They had six children; five daughters and a son. The son is the fifth child; it was an ‘at risk’ pregnancy; doctors warned them against having a fifth child, but she wanted a male child because her husband said he wanted a heir.

She developed PIH (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) after having the third daughter. God had mercy on them, she gave birth to a male child, the husband insisted on her trying yet again; she ‘submitted’ and went ahead against her doctor’s advice, got pregnant the sixth time and after a harrowing experience, with her narrowly missing death, she gave birth to the sixth child; a female. There was no naming ceremony for the child because she was a girl-child. Three years later, her husband said he wanted her to have another child because he cannot have a lone son, he said his mother had 11 of them; seven males and four females.

The wife said she wasn’t going through that path again, her husband went and reported her to his family members; they said it is either she gives them more male children, or she leaves the marriage. Her friend said, “I told her not to have another child but she said she cannot imagine herself not being married.

I told her, her life was more precious than being a Mrs, but she refused. She went ahead and got pregnant a seventh time. According to her friend, that was the fourth ‘at risk’ pregnancy. At 36 weeks, she was rushed to the theatre, her bp had skyrocketed despite the anti hypertensive medications her doctors placed her on; she didn’t make it through Caesarean section, she had a sixth daughter.

She died a Mrs. He was 27 tall, dark and very handsome and unemployed. She was 36, elegant and of an average height, well mannered, God fearing and gainfully employed. Friends and family mem-bers weren’t comfortable with the guy; there was something eerie, fake and ‘falsy’ about him according to people around them. Gift Fadayomi, a friend to the wife said, “I prodded, I asked questions.

I told him point blank that he was deceiving my friend; he was a gold digger. My friend told me she was tired of being a single lady; she wanted to be a Mrs. They got married. The man took over her car immediately after their wedding, he was a cheat, a serial cheat, a community penis. He kept on infecting her with STDs, she kept on treating herself.

I told her she might soon be infected with HIV, that it wasn’t worth it; but she said her status had changed, she was now a Mrs,” she said. Fadayomi continued that her friend after discovering who her husband was indeed, kept crying and begging her husband to change, but he wouldn’t budge. She said the man just wouldn’t and as a matter of fact cannot change, but she kept on hoping against hope. She said, twice she caught her husband having sex with his girlfriends on their matrimonial bed; and she got the beating of her life for making trouble out of it. Fadayomi went on narrating that: One day, as she was waiting for a bike, (her husband had taken permanent possession of her car).

She slumped by the road side and was pronounced dead at the hospital. She died a Mrs. Another victim of Mrs. Success Mosubusola had one child for her husband and tried severally to have another one, she couldn’t. She visited several hospitals, had series of fertility treatments, to no avail.

Her husband eventually impregnated their housemaid and married her. Housemaid gave birth to twins and Ogaasked madam to move to the guest room. She kept on crying; her daughter watched the mother ‘permanently’ crying. Anuoluwa, her younger sister said she told her that her emotional abuse could be worse than physical sometimes and that she should leave that toxic environment, but she refused. “She said she cannot leave her marriage for a ‘strange’ woman. Yet, she couldn’t sleep at night; she started taking a strong appetite inducing medication so she could eat and sleep; then she started bloating, plus her system became resistant to the drug.” The younger sister continued that, Mosubusola progressed into taking hard core sleeping pills, antidepressants, until she became restless and started acting strange. And that her husband packaged her and dumped her at her parents. Less than three months later she slept and didn’t wake up, she died and was buried as a Mrs.

Also a victim story told by a relative:

I had a call last night; a sister of someone I know passed on at a University Teaching Hospital due to complications from AIDS. Her husband infected her with the disease and she didn’t know until during one of her numerous frequent visits to the hospital due to her falling sick constantly. The doctors were compelled to test her for HIV and she tested positive. She later found out her husband had always known about his status and was already on ART. Her sister said they kept telling their late sister to leave the marriage because her husband was abusive; and a chronic womanizer (cheat) who could sleep with anything and everything; but she refused, she said her marriage was till death do them part.

Then she went silent on them and became highly secretive. She refused to tell them stuffs and kept creating pictures of a happy marriage in their family group chat on WhatsApp, kept writing poems and calling him her ‘king’ and ‘lord’ on Facebook. But she said they could see through her facade and heavy makeup, they knew it was all fake. They managed to get her to attend a family meeting and she told them she is faithing it through, and praying for the demons holding her husband captive to free him. She was stubbornly adamant, she said she cannot leave her marriage for side chics or strange women to take over.

Unfortunately, her family members couldn’t force her to leave. One time, after one of those numerous beatings, her neighbours called her sister, and the family rushed her to the hospital, but ‘virtuous’ and ‘submissive’ die hard Mrs. refused to leave her husband so she could live. It was after she was diagnosed of AIDS, that she received sense, unfortunately, it was too late, she died as a Mrs. Theresa Adejare, a marriage counselor with one of the Pentecostal churches said it is always good and advisable to check out the leaflets inside drug packs, or written on drugs.

“They clearly warn you to take the drugs only if the benefits outweighs the risks; doctors too tell their doctors same if there are fears of complications as a result of the drugs they are administering,” she said. Adejare explained further that, “you see this Mrs. title? You need to also weigh the benefits and risks if you are in an abusive marriage. Dying as a Mrs. is not a noble death; on the contrary, you killed yourself. She explained that there is nothing special in being a Mrs, it is the content of the Mrs, that makes it worth it, emphasizing that many are dying slowly, hourly and daily as a result of bearing a title that will ultimately lead to their early graves.

“Separate yourself from toxic persons and environment,” she stressed. Mrs Anna Gbedebo, a relationship coach/marriage counselor, also with one of the Pentecostal churches said it is so heartbreaking and saddening to see so many lives wasted because they cannot listen to wise counsels.

“And she died a Mrs, they died as Mrs. is always the end story,” she said. Mrs Gbadebo pointed out that there are many documented and undocumented women who are dead, mentally ill or heading towards these as a result of marriage, suicide, heart failure, living corpse, pounding daily headaches, slump, emotional blackmail etc According to her, what should bring life, shouldn’t bring death. She warned single ladies, married women to be careful and patient, noting that many women are suffering in silence and parents have a great role to play. “Advising their children not to disgrace them but allowing them into shackles of death is also a sin to Almighty God. A word is enough for the wise!” She concluded.

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