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Let’s mend broken hearts, strained relationships

The challenging experience of COVID- 19 lockdown appears to have impacted positively on not a few people who hitherto treated their love affairs with levity. Apart from enjoying the benefits of having responsible partners which underscores the significance of the Biblical assertion that “two are better than one,” economic, emotional, psychological and even spiritual wellbeing are encapsulated in a good marital relationship. We need to strengthen weak, fragile relationships in the interest of those involved.

Let those who have separated find some reason(s) to reconcile except if the situation bothers on threats to life or hardened positions based on irreconcilable differences. I do not believe that estranged parties must be forced to come together without their individual conviction and desire to do so based on prevailing circumstances, counsel, mediation as well as thought out reasons. Separated and yet-to-be-married single moms that often downplay their need of life partners are now having a rethink. Many of them are desirous of relationships that would ultimately lead to marriage.

Is marriage a must? Absolutely not, but it is important. It makes one’s life stable, progress and secure. God designed marriage by Himself, nobody suggested it to Him. He reasoned it into existence for the benefit and fulfilment of mankind. But what happens when the marriage fails to work out well? Marriages do encounter challenges because good homes are potential fertile grounds for people to excel in life and fulfil destinies. The enemy has a duty to throw rubbles at homes in form of challenges with the aim of scuttling the promising future of the family members. This usually comes in form of acrimonious relationships, choosing wrong partners or being afflicted with serial disappointments. Consequently, many have given up on marriage.

In recent weeks, more people have indicated their interest to reconcile with their estranged spouses or partners – in the case of espoused couples. In the last few weeks, I have been involved in some fence-mending and reconciliatory moves. I’m very excited that what some family members, mentors and counsellors could not achieve, God has used the period of recent lockdown to work it out successfully and effortlessly. The need for total reconciliation, forgiveness and desire for true reunion is in the air. These factors make the moves easier and result-oriented.

A mother of two who separated from her man due to frequent neglect and acts of infidelity desires a return to her matrimonial home. “I feel the need to have a rethink because I realise that men are largely the same in many ways. Since he is not the violent type and he begged for forgiveness when I left, I think we can still work things out. “Unpleasant tales I hear from other women and how callous some men could be confirmed to me that one needs to endure and tolerate to stay married. I want my home back, more so my children always long for their dad in a pestering manner.

I don’t mind if you can broker the truce between us. I will be grateful if you oblige me your involvement in this matter.” In a telephone conversation after receiving her mail, she said her man, too, was already on the lookout for such moves because she had earlier rebuffed every attempt at reconciliation. Speaking with the man actually confirmed his willingness to reunite with his wife. “I never knew loneliness could kill until during the lockdown. I don’t envy single fathers at all. It was not easy for me. Men should learn to keep their homes no matter the pull or distractions from the outside.

I thank you for your concern, sir,” he said. A civil servant who dropped his fiancee early in January as a result of a dispute that bothers on mutual suspicion and financial matters are now back together. The lady in an SMS received on Wednesday stated that: “I went on fasting and prayer throughout the lockdown for divine intervention and restoration of my relationship. To my amazement, he visited my place unannounced immediately the easing of the lockdown was announced. Meanwhile, every move to resolve the matter had been earlier rebuffed by him.

He insisted it was over but God made it happen miraculously.” I learnt of a woman who went to honour a date with an online admirer only to meet her estranged husband in the company of her “new lover.” It later turned out that it was a well-planned scheme to settle their dispute by concerned friends. The woman was said to be a quiet and hospitable wife but her husband has not been treating her accordingly. His friends were said to have promised that he is now a “born again husband” who will thenceforth be responsible and peaceful at home.

The loneliness, hunger and boredom he experienced in the lockdown were said to have necessitated his move for reconciliation with his wife. The need for a partner is beyond fun. A good partner is a pillar of support, trusted friend and a counsellor.

As tough as the economic conditions of many families are in this post-COVID-19 “new normal,” pulling resources together is the way to go. This has been the saving grace of many. I believe that it is the right time to strive to make marriages work. Multiple streams of income earning businesses are simply the best. Since the government doesn’t care a hoot about the groaning of the masses occasioned by the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown, let everyone fend for themselves through any legitimate means for survival. An upsurge in requests for Hook Up service since the lockdown goes to show how needful partners are. Likewise, those in strained relationships and troubled marriages can still make things work. With God, all things are possible

From the Mailbox

Re: ‘We’re Hungry, Jobless’

In fact, my school just decided to place some staff on compulsory leave without pay until schools resume fully. Date and time of full resumption, no one knows. People are not getting salaries, yet, the prices of foodstuff and transportation have escalated. How Nigerians will cope is not a concern to our government, as long as their barns are full. – Mrs. B. Aluko, Lagos.

Many are distressed, depressed, frustrated, tired, discouraged, worried, sick physically, mentally and emotionally troubled, confused, lost etc. – Mrs. Nora Olaosebikan

Please advice such hard hit teachers/persons to see how they can market needed items like First Aid box, thermometer (advertised online), different food items to their/other schools, churches, car owners (as 1st Aid box is now required by FRSC); then, they can do private/ home lesson (even if at cheaper rates) for willing parents, or provide home/day care services per day for few children like 4/5 maximum) in their own homes (at least a room and parlour) for parents who must go to work and don’t know where to keep the children. All in a COVID-19 “safe environment,” not flouting government regulations. That way, they can at least feed and get by. It is well o. – Prof. B. Atolagbe. CBN gave out ‘household loans’ of 500k to 1m. It was given across board and well publicised on social media. Unfortunately many doubted and didn’t bother applying.

But everyone I know who applied for the household palliative loan were given the money. There’s an ongoing loan for those interested. For now, they are giving it to start ups and viable concerns in agric, manufacturing, fashion designing, poultry, fish and snail farming etc. Start-up is up to N5 million and for viable ongoing business is up to N10 million. People I know have got these loans. An in-law got hers to start a bakery business. Interest is 5% per annum starting in a year’s time. Actually this government is doing good, but information dissemination is their problem. If the household palliative starts again, I’ll let you know. – Liz, Lagos.




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